My day begins with the alarm clock going off at 8 am. It has to be set to a music station. If I hear any kind of buzzing or ringing I wake up in a very bad mood; talk about a rude awakening. Rolling out of bed envious of my wife because I'm awake and she's asleep I turn off the alarm. Off balance and groggy it's straight to the bathroom to get the water running. My faucet has cold and hot markings on the knobs but the cold one is hot and the hot one is cold. The maintenance guy really screwed that one up. It takes at least 3 to 5 minutes before the water will get warm, damn water heater! Next I look in the mirror to see how much cole (also called sleep, depends on where you are from) I have in my eyes. I wonder if anyone else wakes up and there is so much build up you have to put effort into opening your eyelids, LOL! I assure you this is not an everyday thing just once in a blue moon. Once the water starts to get hot I turn around facing the rear of the shower to grab my washcloth. Behold! There are six washcloths hanging from the plastic bar. I swear that they spawn out of the plastic bar they dangle from. It is only two of us living here, why are there six washcloths hanging in the shower? I still can't figure this one out, wait a minute, women, need I say more. And don't let there be two of them that are the same color now I'm really puzzled. I usually only get four to five hours of sleep in the first place, now I have to use my brain to recall what towel I used last night, was it the dark blue one or the dark blue one with the bleach spot? When my common sense finally kicks in I just grab the one that is the driest to my touch. OK, now we're getting somewhere, washcloth "check," water hot "check," toothbrush "check," where the hell is the toothpaste? One time I almost used Preparation H by accident for toothpaste, hey the tube looks just like the toothpaste tube. That is why you have to let your brain wake up first before making these crucial decisions in the morning. Locating the toothpaste, I squeeze from the very end of the tube making sure it is as flat as a CD before I put some on my toothbrush. If you do not know, these instructions are on the tube. You would be surprised how much longer a regular tube of toothpaste will last if you use this technique every time you brush your teeth. Putting some toothpaste on your toothbrush requires skill, only true veterans can get paste to curl and fold over at the end just like they do in the commercials. Now here comes the test to see if I put the right amount of paste on the bristles of the toothbrush so that it can withstand the wetting of the whole ensemble. Sometimes the running water will knock the paste right off the bristles. I hate it when that happens now I have just wasted one inch of good, cool peppermint plus whitening with baking soda toothpaste. Now, I just squirt on another pasting with no patience, there's no pretty perfect curl at the end just forced on gel. But this time it sticks!